Sources of Speaking Anxiety (and How to Respond to Them)

FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

Doing anything new or unusual can cause anxiety. Even if you know how to drive, for example, you might be anxious about driving in a new country with unfamiliar signs and rules. The same goes for speaking. Even experienced speakers may feel nervous speaking in a new location or in front of an audience that is very different from what they’re used to. An important step to addressing this anxiety is to make something unknown into something familiar.

The more you learn about your AUDIENCE (88–105), the less anxious you may feel. Talking to individual audience members can help take the edge off your anxiety. It may even give you some new ideas—a relevant story or an interesting fact—to share with the audience during your presentation.

Likewise, learn about your OCCASION (61–68): consider how the time, place, setting, and medium may affect your speech. Get there early. Notice what might distract you or your audience. Is there a flickering light? Is the room warm or cool? Speak a few sentences of your introduction at the volume you intend to use in that room. Also, make sure any equipment you need is set up properly and working. The more you know about your setting, the more likely you will be comfortable and calm during your presentation.

If yours will be an ONLINE PRESENTATION (282–301), make sure you are familiar with the technology. Practice how you’ll use the microphone, look at the camera, and scan the chats for audience feedback while possibly also sharing your screen. Turn off notifications for your email or other messages. If you’ll be using PRESENTATION AIDS (260–78), make sure they are thoughtful, clear, and easy to read—most eyes will be on your slides, not on you, while you show them.

FEAR OF PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS

When you make a presentation, your palms may sweat, your pulse may speed up, your stomach may feel queasy, and your hands may shake. Inexperienced and highly anxious speakers often assume that their audience can see this happening. They may focus more on what their audience thinks of their shaky hands than what they want to say.

Experienced communication instructors, when asked about how anxious a student is, seldom accurately estimate the speaker’s level of anxiety.⁷ Though most symptoms of speaking anxiety aren’t visible to your audience, they can feel obvious and distracting to you. Fortunately, you can reduce the intensity of these reactions by assuming that audience members will not notice your nervousness.

Develop a set of targeted exercises that relaxes your mind and body before you speak. Take deep breaths, relax tight muscles, and move around if you can. Nearly all performers—actors, musicians, dancers, and athletes of all kinds—have rituals that relax their bodies prior to a high-stakes challenge. Once you find a ritual that helps you relax, do it before every presentation. If nothing else, it takes your mind off worried thoughts.

Here’s a technique that works for many speakers: Right before you speak, repeat a two-syllable word or phrase silently to yourself, syllable by syllable, deeply inhaling and exhaling each time. For example, try the word relax. Breathe in slowly while saying the sound “re” silently to yourself, holding the long “e” sound all the while you are inhaling. This should take two or three seconds. Then breathe out slowly, also for two or three seconds, as you say the sound “lax” silently to yourself. Hold the “a” sound while exhaling. Inhale and exhale “reee-laaax” four or five times. By the time you finish this 30-second relaxation exercise, your pulse should be slower, and, ideally, you will also feel calmer.

If repeating a word or phrase doesn’t work for you, try a small yawn or quiet sigh right before you speak to relax your neck and throat muscles. Tensing and relaxing your stomach muscles before speaking can release stress from your body. Find the tension-reducing exercise that works for you, and you’ll be rewarded with a calmer body, a calmer mind, and more confidence.

Then consider this: Aren’t these feelings the same ones that occur when you are watching an action sequence of a movie or when you are buckling into your seat on a roller coaster? Feelings of anxiety and excitement are physically similar. Enlist those feelings as extra energy and enthusiasm. When you feel that rush of adrenaline and your heart beating faster and stronger, take those feelings as signs that you’re revved up, eager, and ready to go. Instead of “Get me out of here,” say, “Let’s get this show on the road!”

FEAR OF FAILURE

Many nervous speakers believe their anxiety dooms them to failure. When we’ve asked students to share their goals for taking a speaking course—other than passing it with a good grade—an overwhelming number give answers related to fear of speaking. They want to “overcome anxiety,” “stop being nervous,” and “totally calm down.” Professional speakers have a very different attitude and expectation. They admit that they’re nervous and they accept that as normal. Instead, they transform worrisome, irrational, and nonproductive thoughts into positive statements.

Psychologists recommend a technique called cognitive restructuring, a method that challenges and changes unrealistic beliefs into realistic expectations.⁸ Rather than thinking “I’ll make mistakes,” “I’ll bomb,” or “I’ll forget what I want to say,” experienced speakers focus on their message and remind themselves they will calm down once they begin speaking. Try to focus on positive thoughts, such as “I’m going to do a great job out there,” “I’m a well-prepared speaker,” “My message is important,” or “Anxiety makes me work harder and do better.”

Can positive statements like this really help? Sure! Positive self-talk helps you become more realistic about what you need to do and what will happen when you make a presentation. We promise: the speaking experience won’t be as bad as you expect. You will survive, particularly if you discard the negative beliefs and unrealistic expectations that get in the way of successful speaking.

FEAR OF THE SPOTLIGHT

Most of us experience some anxiety when we are the focus of other people’s attention. When all eyes are on you, that attention can make you more self-conscious than you otherwise might be. Psychologists call this reaction the spotlight effect, a tendency to overestimate the extent to which our behavior and appearance are noticed and assessed by others.⁹ Whether you’re standing under a real spotlight or not, it can help to focus more on your audience and less on yourself.

While you’re speaking, your audience is listening to see how you’ll address their needs and engage their interests—they’re not looking to criticize your appearance or speaking skills. If they’re absorbed in what you’re saying and see how it affects their lives, they won’t pay as much attention to your posture or pronunciation. Of course, your words, delivery, and appearance are important and you should aim to PRACTICE YOUR DELIVERY (220–24) for a polished and professional presentation. But if you find you’re dwelling on your appearance and delivery during your presentation, that’s the moment to refocus on your message and your audience.

Try shifting attention away from yourself and toward an audience member or two. It may be all that’s needed to take the edge off your anxiety. Look at someone and nod your head. In many cases, they’ll likely nod back. Pick someone else and smile at them. They’ll probably smile back. Engage your audience as a group with a question or quick activity. Each of these actions, and others like them, mentally shifts your attention from yourself to others and reduces your anxiety in the process.

FEAR OF RIGID RULES

Although this book is filled with advice for how to become a more effective speaker, we’re not suggesting these are rigid rules or unbreakable commandments that must be followed in every presentation. Knowing when—and when not—to follow these suggestions can help you feel more confident as a speaker.

Some speakers may be nervous about violating a supposed rule of speechmaking. “Never,” they were once told, “put your hands in your pockets or sit on the corner of a desk when you are speaking.” Or “Banish filler phrases, like um, uh, you know, and really, from your presentation.” While advice like this may be well-intentioned, always remember that connecting with your audience matters much more than following a set of rules. An occasional “um” or “uh” is natural and common in everyday speech. It can also make you sound thoughtful and relaxed.

Rigid rules trap us. Our advice: Focus instead on adapting your presentation to your occasion, audience, and purpose. Follow useful advice and recommendations, but don’t let them control every decision you make.

FEAR OF EVALUATION

Fear of evaluation is a leading source of speaker anxiety. Does your audience believe you? Are they listening and interested? Do they find you persuasive and likable? Will this presentation accomplish your PURPOSE (109–18)? Will I get a good grade on this speech? Land the job offer? Meet my fundraising goal? We generally don’t like to be evaluated by others, particularly if they have more status, power, or influence than we do. So how can you overcome this fear? Two words: preparation and practice.

Researchers note that speaking anxiety affects the way speakers prepare presentations. Some anxious speakers don’t prepare effectively because they don’t know how to prepare. Rather than making orderly and well-informed decisions about a presentation, nervous speakers become lost in the process.¹⁰ Consequently, they end up focusing on their fears rather than on what they need to say and do.

Giving yourself adequate time to prepare for your talk— DOING RESEARCH (139–43), choosing strong SUPPORTING MATERIALS (134–39), and ORGANIZING (152–70) your key points—will reduce your speaking anxiety. Although it takes valuable time to PRACTICE YOUR DELIVERY (220–24), the payoff is a confident and seemingly effortless presentation. Consider this: Would you be more nervous to deliver a presentation on a topic you don’t know anything about or a speech that you thoughtfully researched and practiced on a topic that’s meaningful to you?

Finally, practice the first minute of your presentation until you feel especially comfortable with it. Knowing you can get through your opening can help you feel more confident as you begin.